According to Einstein, the most important question you can answer for yourself is whether the Universe is a friendly or an unfriendly place. Is it out to get you?  Or does it have your back? Sometimes the challenges I face sure don’t feel friendly. I’ve been knocked to my knees more than I like to admit.  But here’s the thing.  Unequivocally I can say that each and every calamity I’ve faced has led me to something better.  Not that it felt better at the time. And not that “better” came immediately.  Slogging through the crisis was hard.  But in retrospect, I can see that each crisis I’ve faced has expanded my life in some way.

For example, getting through my divorce showed me I had more strength than I ever knew. I learned how to deal with my own finances, became more computer literate, starting asking for help when I needed it.  My heart cracked open so wide that I became more vulnerable–in good ways.  Sharing myself more deeply with friends and family, thereby attaining a closeness that feels wonderful to this day.

A crisis takes you out of your comfort zone and brings up unresolved issues.  It forces you to face them, and bring them to resolution, which leads to insights and wisdom that make your life better.  So my answer to Einstein’s question is that we live in a friendly Universe.  Yes, it sends experiences that challenge me, piss me off, drive me crazy.  But each time I meet a challenge, my life expands in some way.

But what happens if it gets the better of me and I don’t resolve it?  What if I ignore it, stay in anger and bitterness about it, stubbornly refuse to budge from a stance I’ve taken?  In that case, rest assured that the Universe will send another challenge.  Which is not to punish me, but to bless me.  The challenges keep coming until I learn the lesson they are meant to teach.  A lesson that will enrich my life in some way.

One more thing. No challenge is wasted, even if we fail to resolve it.  Why?  Because when we don’t resolve it, we suffer the consequences, and after a while, we just don’t want to suffer anymore.  We get it.  However many experiences it takes to teach us, that’s what comes our way.  It’s all part of the evolutionary process of life. The evolutionary advancement of our souls.

What about you?  Do you believe the Universe is friendly or unfriendly?  Whichever way you view it, what are the consequences of your decision?  If you haven’t thought about it, you might do well to give it some thought.  It determines how you live, feel and act, and what your life ultimately shapes up to be.  Important stuff, don’t you think?

Check out my book, The Affair: From Breakdown to Breakthrough, A Therapist’s Real-life Journey, for more great tips and insights about relationships. You can buy it on Kindle worldwide from all Amazon websites, including







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