Arnold: Thinking with the little head

Joy Behar, on The View, called Arnold the sperminator…which I think is hilarious…and probably accurate. I’m sure, however, that Maria and kids don’t think it’s so funny. Maria must have known about Arnold’s difficulty in keeping his pants zipped for a long time, and his fathering a kid right under her nose was just the last straw. I would say poor Maria, but I can’t because I believe that whatever happened, she will be all the better for it. I don’t know how that will come about, or when, but I’m quite sure she is the kind of woman who will learn her lessons and grow.

Seems to me, she gave up a lot for him. I doubt she ever wanted to be the California governor’s little wifey when she had a great career of her own which presumably she really enjoyed. But we all make our choices, don’t we, and painful choices present us with a great opportunity to deepen in wisdom and gain strength.

Maria is not a victim. I wonder how long she ignored her gut… “uh-oh…something is amiss here.” Then again, she comes from a family famous for looking the other way. Remember Jackie? Yes, Arnold betrayed Maria. But did Maria betray herself? And is the self-betrayal her contribution to what happened? Just throwing the question out there. It’s up to her to answer it. And I’m quite sure she will. This is not a woman who will just sit around and cry. She’ll pick herself up, learn from the situation, and move forward. Also a characteristic of her upbringing.

It is sad though. They will all suffer tremendously as a result of this public humiliation—Arnold being outed; Maria defending him when he ran for governor when the womanizing accusations became public; the kids having to face their friends and maybe the media vultures who I’m sure will not honor their request for compassion and privacy. Compassion? …when there are newspapers, magazines, TV show ratings to consider? Nah. Won’t happen.

I wish them both well. Yeah, even the louse, Arnold. He’s not really a louse though. Just someone whose arrogance needs to be tamed…like Tiger and all the other celebrity womanizers who think they can get away with anything because of who they are. Let’s hope this public humiliation will shrink that enormous ego he lugs around. Oh, and Arnold…forget your once proclaimed desire to change the constitution so that you can be president. You’ve made sure that’s not gonna happen. Oh well…there’s always Terminator 9000, or whatever the number is. That seems to be what you do best anyway.

Check out my book, The Affair: From Breakdown to Breakthrough, A Therapist’s Real-life Journey, to learn how my husband and I got through our crisis and made our bond stronger than ever. You can read a synopsis of the book on my website, http://www.infidelityandaffairs.com and buy it on Amazon or Barnes & Noble. The book gives you great tips and insights on relationships, as well as how to deal with this painful circumstance.

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